That's how I feel right now.
After nine weeks, my first headwritten show, BINOY HENYO, came to an end. At habang senti mode ako, nagpe-play sa isipan ko ang journey na pinagdaanan ko.
I can hear Sir Aloy's unexpected phonecall in my head, surprising me with the news that the Binoy Henyo concept was greenlighted. I can still vividly picture how my face turned white, and how clammy my hands felt, after being asked if I was interested to headwrite the show. Pikit-matang "yes, po" ang sagot ko. Immediately, I felt a surge of fears, insecurities, and uncertainties wash over me. I've been asked a similar question more than a year ago, to which I replied no. I felt I wasn't ready back then. But when Sir Aloy asked me to helm the creative team of my approved concept, it came without warning. Saying Yes seemed the right thing to do. I remember thinking, "bahala na."
The first challenge was composing my team. I initially wanted Onay and Ken to be my writers. But since Ken was involved in another show, Ate Tina was the easiest choice. For my brainstormers, Borgy seemed automatic. Miss Denoy recommended Mikee from the Institute. Finally, I also brought Ate AA to the fold. I recall feeling pleased, at ease, and proud of the people I would soon be working with.
And then came the really scary and challenging part - writing the Pilot script. I remember being terrified of Sir Jake, our Creative Head; Sir Aloy, our Creative Consultant; and Miss Camille, our Program Manager. I was so afraid that I'd fall short of their expectations. I kept revising Day 1 of my sequence treatment. I wanted to make a good impression to my bosses. But I ended up second-guessing myself every step of the way. Soon, my deadline was almost up. I realized that I'm doing it all wrong.
So, I had to regroup. I lied down in bed, and played the soundtrack of We Bought a Zoo (for some reason, it soothes and relaxes me). After an hour, I sat down again to write. This time, I had the mindset that I was just writing a weekly script on my other shows. Soon enough, my treatment was finished... ahead of deadline.
Pero shaky pa rin ang confidence ko after that. I was so anxious kung ano'ng magiging reception ng mga boss ko sa treatment ko. Writing a family oriented show was not my strongest suit. I remember struggling before sa Daddy Dearest. But when our Executive Producer, Miss Winnie, said she liked the treatment, para kong nabunutan ng tinik. Then, Sir Jake said nagustuhan nya rin. Kaya pagkatapos nun, nag-evaporate na ang kaba ko.
It took me 5 days to write the pilot script. I remember being pleased and proud after reading the initial draft. Sir Aloy gave a good feedback, kaya ang saya-saya ko. Sa wakas, masasabi ko nang Headwriter ako dahil nakapag-pilot na 'ko!!
Everything after that seemed to breeze by. Fond memories of our locked-in storymap meeting and the "naughty" conversation that followed; the dramatic feedback meeting for the original Week 5; the sad farewell to our original PM; the welcome addition of Ms Cathy, our other PM; the animated and hilarious bickering between Sir Aloy and Ate Tina; my infatuation for Daddy Francis (hihi); Mikee's explosive expose; and the solid love and support among members of the Creative Team.
I will always be grateful to Sir Jun for the break; Sir Aloy and Sir Jake, for their patience and support; Miss Denoy, for the mentorship; Ate Tina, for being dependable and for adding drama and humor to the show; Onay, for her constant affirmation and for the very beautiful and memorable finale; Ate AA, for being very understanding and really supportive; Borgy and Mikee, for contributing interesting plots to the story; Direk Albert, for his dedication to the show, and for injecting his wonderful vision to Binoy Henyo; Miss Camille, whom I love dearly; Ms Winnie, whom I'd love to work with again; Ms Cathy, whom I enjoyed working with; the brilliant cast, especially Sheena, David and Tita Nova, for being the family I come home to every six pm; to my family, all my friends, and fans of the show, thank you; and, finally, i give thanks and praises to God, for making all these possible and for leading me this way.
It's been two weeks since the show wrapped up. But Binoy Henyo will always remain alive in my heart.
I will never be afraid to say Yes again!
